


conflicted looks good on me

by orphan_account



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, handjobs, like it’s hot but they’re also super fucking soft, soft smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 17:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16999818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “would you like me to chat you up instead?” freddie whispered the question, but his tone wasn’t asking for an answer. roger felt his head swim, desperately straining to make sense of what was happening, only coming up with thoughts of oh, you were jealous, and you fancy your best friend.“i’ll pass, thanks.”





	conflicted looks good on me

**Author's Note:**

> i haven’t proofread this and also i’d like to personally apologize to freddie mercury

“i’ll see you soon, yeah, rog?”

he barely caught sight of it, but as soon as his eyes found freddie across the bar, his blood ran cold. there he was, knocking elbows with a tall, muscular man with dark eyes and a pretty smirk, beer in hand. roger felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach.

was he... jealous? that his best friend was talking to someone that wasn’t him? don’t be pathetic, he scolded himself, forcing his attention back to the pretty girl who’s name he’d already forgotten.

“of course,” he lied with a winning smile. “i’m sure we’ll be in town again soon.”

the pretty girl beamed, then leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “i’ll see you,” she whispered, before sauntering off, swinging her hips daringly. roger’s eyes followed the movement. he was about to change his mind and catch up with her, ask her to stay the night with him, but out of the corner of his eye he saw the pretty man wrap his arm around freddie’s shoulders, and immediately his vision went red.

 _you’re_ _pining_ , he realized in a white hot flash of jealousy. _you’re_ _pining_ _after_ _your_ _best_ _friend_ , _you_ _complete_ idiot.

it took several moments for the shock to wear off, and by then he was anxious to deny the revelation that started to plague his thoughts. he booked it for the stage door, settling to load his drum kit into the van to distract himself. his head spun wildly on his shoulders as he dodged questions of ‘how the fuck did i get here’ or thoughts of ‘i’m not gay, mum would kill me if i never gave her grandkids’. he fiddled with one of his drumsticks absently as he stood outside the van, staring blankly at their equipment for a long moment.

“i take it the others are busy?”

roger spun around on his heel, eyes wide and breath lost in the open air. there was freddie in the stage door, looking like the smug bastard he was, eyes glimmering.

”deaky packed and left,” roger told him, tearing his eyes away and climbing into the van to put away his drumsticks. “brian packed most of it, but i think he’s chatting up some girl in there.”

“isn’t that your MO?” freddie asked, leaning his head to the side up against the doorframe, the picture of faux innocence.

“shut up,” roger huffed, dropping his drumsticks to the floor of the van and turning to sit on the edge of the back, legs swinging. “you’re one to talk.”

freddie’s eyebrows lifted, a momentary look of shock flitting over his features, before softening into something playful. “everyone wants a piece of me, darling, i can’t help that.”

“i saw you,” roger told him, a little quieter. freddie’s expression didn’t falter, and it worried him. “that guy at the bar. looked like you were having fun.”

freddie looked calm, too calm, as he shrugged one shoulder and smiled. “oh, poor rog, i’m so sorry i left you on your lonesome to talk to a fan.”

“so you didn’t notice he was flirting with you?”

“i never said that,” freddie countered. he stepped out of the doorframe and toward the van, stopping mere inches from roger, who’s heartbeat started to pick up speed. “just that he was a fan. had i known you wanted my company so badly i would’ve brought you with me, dear.”

roger shook his head, forcing his gaze past freddie, to his side, to the floor of the van, to the pavement below- anywhere in the world but at freddie. “no thanks, i’m perfectly fine not chatting up a drunk bloke at a pub.”

there was silence, and roger was positive he’d said the wrong thing. before he could amend his statement- freddie laughed. roger finally met his eyes, confusion furrowing his brows together. freddie looked positively giddy.

“so you _were_ jealous.”

“no,” roger lied through gritted teeth, folding his arms over his chest and huffing. “why on earth would i be jealous?”

freddie hummed, eyes wandering past roger as he sauntered over and sat himself down next to him. he leaned into roger’s space so their elbows knocked together, his hand brushed roger’s thigh with a feather light touch. he felt dizzy all of a sudden, and unfolded his arms just to brace himself against his knees, leaning away from freddie, who snickered at him.

“would you like me to chat you up instead?” freddie whispered the question, but his tone wasn’t asking for an answer. roger felt his head swim, desperately straining to make sense of what was happening, only coming up with thoughts of _oh_ , _you_ were _jealous_ , and _you_ _fancy_ _your_ best friend.

“i’ll pass, thanks.”

freddie paused, eyes scanning over roger curiously. roger felt himself shrink under the stare, forcefully averting his gaze to the pavement below. 

“i should go,” roger mumbled, moving to hop off the back of the van. he needed to get out, sleep on it, repress whatever it was he was feeling until it died. but then freddie grabbed his hand, freddie pulled him close. and freddie kissed him. 

it felt like being electrocuted, kissing freddie mercury for the first time. his lips were soft and gentle, he moved slow and with practiced ease, as if trying to coax roger into relaxing and enjoying. it was certainly working.

“we can’t,” roger whispered into freddie’s mouth.

“and why is that?”

roger broke away to look at him. “we’re friends.”

“that makes it so much sweeter, doesn’t it?”

roger sighed, pulling his hand away from freddie’s to run it through his hair. “freddie, i-“

before he could properly turn down his best friend, another figure burst through the stage door. roger’s head snapped up, and there was brian, looking fucked and a little confused. “all packed?”

“we’re good,” roger answered quickly. “was just about to go, actually, it’s getting late.” he ignored the mock incredulous look brian gave freddie, who simply shrugged and smiled.

“right, well i’ve got... uh, business,” brian choked out less than discreetly, jabbing a thumb in the general direction of the bar. roger snickered and shook his head, turning on his heel to head to the front of the van. “oh, like you’re much better!”

“not tonight,” freddie sang, a wicked grin on his face as he shut the back doors of the van for him, sending a wink roger’s way. he fought to ignore it. “he’s gone soft, i think.”

“alright, i’m going, i won’t stand around and be bullied,” roger grumbled. “come by tomorrow and pick up your things whenever.” he turned and clambered into the drivers seat, slamming the door as he shoved the key into the ignition a little too roughly. he sat there a moment and just breathed in an attempt to calm down before he actually drove anywhere. that was apparently plenty of time for freddie to rush to the passenger side of the van and slip in, beaming innocently at him.

“let me hitch a ride, won’t you, darling?” 

roger just stared at him for a moment, the rush of adrenaline returning like a surge through his veins. he nodded, focusing his gaze pointedly out the windshield as he put the van into drive and pulled out into the road. his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles going white as he fought to keep his composure.

“if i knew any better, i’d fear you were angry with me,” freddie mused aloud. so much for composure. 

“i’m not angry,” roger told him softly. he paused, jaw clenching and unclenching as he struggled to find the right words to voice his erratic thoughts. “it’s just...”

“i know,” freddie interrupted, quieter this time. roger fought the urge to look at him.

“how could you know?”

freddie chuckled under his breath. “i know you,” he answered simply. 

roger parked the van in silence, shutting off the ignition, merely sitting and staring into space for a moment. he heard freddie move, and had half a mind to think he was leaving, but then there were hands at his shirt collar and he was being pulled into a kiss.

this time, freddie didn’t play soft and sweet. his lips moved with purpose against roger’s, coaxing, convincing, and roger was far too kiss drunk to need much of it to begin with. his hands grasped at freddie’s shoulders, and he couldn’t quite tell if he wanted to push him away or pull him closer.

when freddie finally pulled away, his eyes were dark and hooded, lips swollen deliciously, and the sight made roger’s heart thud loudly in his ears. “you’re allowed to want this,” freddie murmured.

“inside,” roger choked out. one hand grasped wildly for his keys, the other wasn’t too keen on letting go of freddie, who was seconds from kissing him senseless again. “let’s- inside.”

freddie grinned at him, wide and mischievous, and slinked easily out of roger’s grasp and out the passenger door. roger took a deep breath.

he was fucked.

with a heavy sigh, he forced himself out of the van and walked around the back to get into their equipment. “what happened to inside?” freddie teased.

roger gave him a look. “brian would murder me in cold blood if anything happened to his red special,” he reasoned, stepping over amps and chords to reach brian’s guitar and pick it up gingerly. “sorry you can’t grope me for a few minutes.”

freddie hummed, watching as roger shut and locked up the van, then shoved his keys in his back pocket and started walking toward their apartment building. roger could feel him follow close behind, one hand eventually coming to rest on the small of roger’s back, almost guiding him. his stomach churned in the most terrifyingly euphoric way, and god, he didn’t even know what freddie would do with him once they got upstairs. his grip on the red special tightened.

once they reached their apartment, roger turned to freddie and held out the guitar. “can you-? my keys are-“

before he could finish, freddie leaned forward into roger’s space, reached around, and stuck his hand into roger’s back pocket. roger froze where he stood, eyes wide and breath suddenly knocked out of his lungs. freddie took his sweet, sweet time grasping the keys, lingering a moment and squeezing before pulling them out of his pocket and turning to unlock the door himself.

“jesus christ,” roger whispered, clutching the red special for dear life as he rushed into the apartment, quickly finding an empty stand to place it on while freddie shut and locked the door behind them. “what was that for?”

he couldn’t bring himself to look at freddie, especially knowing he’d followed close behind, hovering at his back. his breath came in a shallow pant, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, like a fuse had been lit and he was ready to detonate. he could feel freddie’s breath on the back of his neck. he knew that if he leaned back just a little he would feel freddie’s chest, that they’d be pressed flush against each other. he’d never been so hard in his life.

“i wanted to,” freddie answered simply. roger sucked in a sharp breath. “if you don’t want this...”

without a second thought- or a first one, to be honest- roger spun around and launched himself at freddie, connecting their lips and throwing his arms around freddie’s neck. freddie caught him easily, grasping roger’s hips tightly and holding him close. he felt frenzied, every nerve ending a live wire that freddie intuitively knew how to manipulate and tease, and roger felt like bursting at the seams before they’d even begun.

“you can’t,” roger gasped into the kiss, grunting as freddie broke away to plant feverish kisses down roger’s neck. “you can’t, fuck, play with me like that and leave me hanging.”

freddie snickered against his skin, nipping playfully down to his collarbone. “i can’t?” freddie teased. “are you so sure?”

roger’s breath hitched. “don’t,” he whispered.

“i wouldn’t,” freddie assured him, soothing the bite he’d left on roger’s skin with a tender kiss. it made roger wobble affectionately, pressing forward into freddie’s space, or whatever was left of personal space between them. “you are going to have to tell me what you want, though, darling.”

that snapped roger out of his daze. freddie looked up at him with wide, sincere eyes. roger knew he looked wrecked already, could feel his resolve slipping away inch by inch into the welcoming arms of freddie mercury. he swallowed hard. “i want you.” it felt like a punch to the gut to say it out loud, but the hazy look of desire on freddie’s face was what really brought him down. it was over. he couldn’t come back from this.

“do you?” freddie asked. he walked roger backward until his back hit the wall, and pinned him there, leaning his forehead again’s rogers. “what do you want me to do?” roger whined, attempting to turn his head and look away, but freddie grasped his face with both hands and held him steady. “love, i’m not teasing. you have to tell me what you want.”

“freddie,” he whispered. with a burst of confidence, roger rocked his hips pointedly against freddie’s, grinding his painfully obvious erection against freddie’s thigh. freddie gasped and leaned into the friction. “i don’t know what i’m doing.”

“i know that, dear.”

“please,” roger choked out. he had half an idea what he was begging for, but something kept him from saying it, no matter how freddie’s eyes bore into him daringly, a promise.

“do you know what i want?” freddie cut in helpfully, his voice a low murmur against roger’s skin. roger barely shook his head, and freddie chuckled. “i want to fuck you,” he answered simply with a kiss to roger’s jaw, hands sliding to his shoulders. roger groaned aloud, tipping his head back against the wall as all fight drained from him, along with his breath. “i want to bend you over my bed and fuck you. i want to watch your face while you come, calling my name.” freddie drew back to look roger in the eyes, dark and serious. “do you want that?”

roger nodded helplessly, hands grasping at the front of freddie’s shirt for purchase. “ _yes_ ,” he whimpered, and that seemed to be enough for freddie to crush his lips against roger’s again.

“bed,” freddie growled against roger’s lips, beginning to pull him in the direction of his bedroom. roger could only stumble with him, grabbing freddie’s arms and holding tight, desperate to keep contact. “we’re going to do this properly.”

the words sent a jolt of electricity up roger’s spine. he had an idea of what this was, but freddie was unpredictable, and tonight had certainly not turned out the way he predicted. “freddie,” he tried again. “i-“

a gasp escaped roger’s lips as freddie crowded him into his bedroom, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of freddie’s bed and signaling just how real and not a dream this was. freddie’s eyes bore into his, dark and serious and gleaming in the darkness of his room.

“do you trust me?” freddie asked. 

without hesitation, roger answered, “yes.”

freddie’s smirk cracked into a wide smile at that. he leaned close, arms encircling roger’s waist and pulling them flush together. “then let me take care of you, won’t you, dear?” roger nodded sharply, reaching up to grasp freddie’s face in both hands and kiss him wildly.

almost instantly roger’s back hit the bed. he barely registered freddie hovering above him before he reached to the side to fumble around his nightstand, and with a click, a soft light came on, illuminating the smoldering look on freddie’s face. “i want to see you,” he answered simply.

“kiss me,” roger demanded.

“darling, i thought you would never ask.”

“oh, fuck off,” roger mumbled as freddie leaned down to meet him, hands wandering over freddie’s back, his shoulders, his sides, desperate to drink in every sensation. 

freddie broke away to huff into roger’s neck, a hoarse laugh in his voice. “i thought you wanted me to fuck you.”

“don’t be an ass,” roger retorted, but he was already squirming. freddie’s hot breath on his skin was doing things to him, causing his brain to short circuit and his hips to buck upward into freddie’s. it was the first time he felt freddie’s erection, felt his cock straining through his pants as it rubbed against his own. roger arched into the friction with a groan.

“gorgeous,” freddie murmured, leaving soft bites and kisses over roger’s neck as he tugged at roger’s shirt. “i need this off of you.” 

“gotta let me up first,” roger rasped.

freddie pulled his head back to smirk at him. “you’re not complaining.” roger shrugged.

with a low giggle, freddie sat back on his heels and pulled roger upright with him, moving to tug roger’s shirt up over his head and throw it... elsewhere. immediately freddie’s hands were all over him, smoothing down his torso, running up his his sides, pressing him back down into the bed with an indignant squeak. “you too,” roger demanded.

it was hard to get undressed with freddie all over him, and even harder to get freddie to undress, but roger really couldn’t complain- not with freddie’s lips on his chest, hands on his thighs, whispering in the lowest, most sinful voice he thought he’d ever heard freddie use. it was even harder when freddie would pause and simply kiss roger senseless, grasping his face in both hands, bodies pressed firmly together. roger melted at the affection, completely lost in the heat of freddie’s touches and kisses.

“you’ve no idea how divine you look,” freddie growled once he’d finally divested roger of his offending jeans and underwear. roger squirmed at the attention, grasping desperately at freddie’s shoulders as he slinked up the bed to hover above him. “fucking beautiful, rog.” lips planted right below his hip, a dangerous open mouthed kiss.

roger whined, attempting to lift his hips into the contact, but freddie gripped his hips firmly and held him down. “please,” he whined.

“please what, darling?”

“touch me,” roger begged, absolutely shameless, far too turned on to be anything else. when freddie snickered and pressed another kiss to his heated skin, further down, he groaned. “thought you were gonna fuck me, freddie.”

“oh, i plan to,” freddie assured him, and very suddenly there was a slick hand wrapped around roger’s cock and stroked him once. he moaned aloud, squirming and rocking into the friction of freddie’s hand, but freddie kept his hips pinned with his arms. “don’t you fret. but i know you love this,” he teased, smirking as roger pouted at him. “you love being teased like this, don’t you? being held down and tormented, you look so pretty like this, spread out and begging for me.”

“ _freddie_ ,” he whined. “need you. cmon, please.”

“what do you need?”

“your cock,” roger demanded, exasperated. freddie released his hips suddenly, and roger took the freedom to buck into freddie’s much too slow strokes. “need it, need to feel you, wanna come, freddie-“

“christ,” freddie whispered and released roger’s cock, earning a loud whimper of dismay- that was quickly cut off by freddie leaning back and unbuttoning his pants, then quickly shucking them off and tossing them. roger stared as freddie crawled between his legs, hands smoothing up and down the insides of roger’s thighs. immediately roger arched up toward him, leaning hungrily into his touch. “i have an idea.”

“what do you- _fuck_!”

suddenly freddie was on one elbow, barely propped above him. his other hand wandered between them, and oh, he could feel freddie’s hand and- _oh_. that was freddie’s dick.

roger’s head started to spin wildly, loud moans and whimpers flying from his mouth as freddie stroked them together. “come on, love,” freddie whispered hoarsely into his ear. roger shivered and bucked his hips. “that’s it, doesn’t that feel good? fuck, so gorgeous like this, love hearing you, love watching you squirm for me, that’s it- take it.”

roger turned his head, reaching with a shaky hand to grasp freddie’s jaw and pull him into a kiss, sloppy and open mouthed and barely kissing, more panting and moaning wantonly into freddie’s mouth. he could already feel his gut clenching, the warmth building in the pit of his stomach. he felt like a fucking teenager all over again, he was about to come at the hand of his best friend- “ _freddie_.”

“come on,” freddie urged him, a low growl against his lips. “come on, come for me, you’re so _good_.” 

roger threw his arms around freddie’s neck and pulled him down into another kiss, high pitched whines muffled against freddie’s mouth as he came, shuddering with the force of it. he distantly heard freddie moan something and go still, something like his name, past the ringing in his ears as he went limp. 

for a moment, there was silence. as roger’s hearing went back to normal, he registered the sound of freddie’s panting- and his own- in the eerie quiet of the bedroom. freddie braces himself on both elbows above him then, looking at him with wide eyes.

“i’ll be right back,” he whispered, and he was gone.

roger stared at the ceiling blankly for a moment. with freddie gone, his thoughts started to race again. you just fucked your best friend, things are going to be weird now, it didn’t mean anything to him, it shouldn’t have meant anything to you, what the hell have you done-

a warmth on his stomach shocked roger from his thoughts. there was freddie above him again, smiling sheepishly as he cleaned him up.

“are you alright?” freddie asked him.

roger nodded weakly, his eyes falling shut. “very fucking alright,” he admitted with a soft laugh. he heard freddie chuckle, then felt the bed dip next to him and an arm sling over his middle. 

“are we alright?”

roger blinked and turned his head to look at freddie. “of course,” he answered honestly. when the worried look on freddie’s face didn’t go away, roger turned onto his side to face him properly. “why wouldn’t we be?”

freddie bit his lower lip. roger fought not to kiss him. “i know i came on rather strong,” he explained. “i wasn’t even sure if you... you know, if you would...”

ah. roger reached over and settled his hand against freddie’s neck, thumb tracing back and forth across his jaw. “i wouldn’t be here if i wasn’t interested,” he assured him. “and in case you couldn’t tell, i was really bloody interested.”

at that freddie laughed, a small smile cracking across his lips. roger didn’t fight the urge to lean forward and kiss him. he sighed into the kiss, melting as freddie wrapped his arms around him. “i just didn’t want things to be strange between us,” freddie whispered.

“were we not strange before?” freddie slapped his shoulder lightly, and roger laughed, rolling onto his back. freddie followed the movement, leaning his cheek on roger’s chest.

a comfortable silence settled over the room. roger’s eyes fluttered shut, and he was close to dozing off right there in freddie’s arms when he heard him mumble, “i was right, you know.”

“hm? right about what?”

a snicker. roger blinked his eyes open, only to see freddie grinning impishly at him.

“you _were_ jealous.”


End file.
